I either think too much or not enough

we all do things that others find annoying. I am aware of quite of a few things that annoy other people, and some of the behaviors I am really trying to get myself out of habit of doing. the main problem is I don't realize I've done them until afterwords. simply put it, thinking in the moment is not my forte, and it usually leads to problems.

current annoying behaviors I do (if nothing else, to make a list to remind myself)
-obsessive
-gossip/can't shut up
-tread on other people's boundaries/step on toes
-over communicate (as in, send too many emails/messages/etc)

any suggestions on how to work on minimizing this stuff? or how to think in the moment?

thoughts on death and tragedy

these thoughts have been circling around in my mind for a long time now, guess I should get them out. I don't deal with death and tragedy in the normal way. I accept the fact stuff has happened (ie, someone died) and continue on with my life. I don't cry much anymore when I found out someone died, when I'm at viewings or funerals. if anything, I feel uncomfortable because everyone else is crying and I'm not. I could see being called insensitive, but the reality is I prefer to deal with this stuff on my own time in my own way.

I am no stranger to death, my first funeral was for a family member just a few years older than me. I was 13. during my five years of college, I've been to four funerals: 3 grandparents and one for a cousin (again just a few years older than me). I've been to viewings and been the shoulder to cry on, putting aside my own discomfort for the sake of others.

so today, 9/11. I probably am being insensitive, wanting to just carry on with my day as normal. 9/11 did hit too close when it happened, after all, my dad worked at the Pentagon at the time. fortunately, he was on the side not struck and made it out safely. I was terrorized that day, not being able to get a hold of my parents, not knowing if my dad was ok. so maybe I just like to bypass 9/11 so I don't have to remember all those crazy emotions.

tragedy happens, death happens. there's no way to avoid it, so I guess I rather not dwell on the unavoidable and just keep moving on with life. is this bad?

Jack of all trades is not as great as it's cracked up to be

The other day, I was filling out some paperwork that asked if I had any special talents. It's a simple question, but it rarely fails to make me feel a bit miserable and take a smile off my face. I've always felt talent-less. It's not that I'm not good at stuff, but that's the problem, I'm good, not exceptional. I'm mediocre at a lot of things, instead of being exceptional at a few things and terrible at others, I'm just more spread across the board and ok at a lot. It would seem like I'd have the better bargain, but it sure doesn't feel that way.

I've also learned the very few things I thought I was 'talented' in, I'm not as good as I once thought I was. I always thought I'm a good listener, but I've learned that's only when I'm focusing. I admit that when someone comes to me about the same problem or issue for the billionth time, I have the tendency to only pretend I'm listening and make a comment that I feel still works when required to speak. Not as a good a listener as I thought.

hmm... my mind has drifted. I'll leave this as it is for now.