Restart button desired

I got into a speel the other day about how I felt a person was always shrugging me off or otherwise doesn't take what I say seriously. This got me thinking (once again) how I wish I could restart some relationships. There's a good amount of relationships that I feel I got off on the wrong foot with people and now things just aren't that great. And I always get off on the wrong foot with people for one, if not more, of three reasons
1. I'm too caught up in the moment for proper introductions (have it be running around, engaged in another conversation or just lost in my own little world)
2. I don't think about the proper introduction until it's too late
3. For whatever reason, I'm not remember to break out of my comfort zone and meet new people. Sometimes this has to do with the others seem to already have their clique and I'm nervous to try to break into the circle.

I am constantly trying to improve myself in the areas I feel I need to improve, but it goes back to my trouble of being caught in the moment. I don't always remember this stuff when it's most critical. also, I seem at loss to engage in normal conversation. give me the socially awkward label and let's be done with it. I truly want to shrug off the label but it's harder than I ever thought it would be.

but the relationships that are already existing in the state they are, how do I make things better? is it even worth the effort with some of them?

thoughts on love

cut to the chase, I'm afraid to fall in love. part of it is like a self-fulfilling prophesy of I'm afraid my lack of experience will either be a turn off or that people will take advantage of my lack of knowledge. my first reaction when I find out someone has never been in a relationship but has been trying is something is wrong with them. so yes, I do wonder if something is wrong with me. I go as far to compare myself to people I see as less desirable than myself and wonder if they can get someone, why can't I?

another fear is I'll end up with someone for the wrong reasons - just wanting the experience and settling for less than I truly want. I always seem to attract socially awkward people or creepers. I am a bit socially awkward myself, but I want out of that league. is that too much to ask for?

I have some ideals, am a hopeless romantic but all my notions are from what I see, hear and read in the media and real life, none of it is personal experience. I think I know what I want, but I probably won't know for sure until I find someone.

People tell me that everything will work out in time, but the more time passes me by and nothing changes, I can't help but wonder if I'm doomed to be single unless I settle for someone I don't completely want.

This is a topic I try to hold my head high when people ask, but underneath, I'm annoyed with myself and the world because I can't figure out how to make things work out like I want.